He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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