i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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