So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
