Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
