I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
