Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
