too bad you live with your parents still
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
