Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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