dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
