Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize