i jhust puked up my retainher.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
