oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
