I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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