why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
