i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
