my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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