why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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