The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Say something about gay babies.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
