Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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