woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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