are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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