accomplished twins. life is a go
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
