You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
