Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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