You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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