Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
