worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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