its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I love you. Go after that dick
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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