it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
