Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
