i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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