i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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