have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I cannot find my penis.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Randomize