Can Purell be used as lube?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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