U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
