BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
