have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
