I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
