please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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