So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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