It was confusing and full of hummus
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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