It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
