I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
