Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
