Dual....:-)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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