In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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