i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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