Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I party with great urgency now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
