she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
