I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
