marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
