dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
All the doctor said was why
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize