you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
