You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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