can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
