one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
