Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
