Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i now understand why vodka
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
