Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
