I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
