My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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