Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize