Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
that may or may not have been my penis.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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