Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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