I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
