I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize