It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
