I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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