literally had 100 drinks last night.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
