You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
