need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize